I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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