Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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