Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
