I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize