it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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