dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
