So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
