oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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