Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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