You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
