I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
