On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
