Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
