Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
