She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
