weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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