his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
