I think my vagina is haunted
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
