You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
