I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
