I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
