What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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