You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
