dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
