You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
