i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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