well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
