This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
