I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just gargled with NyQuil
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
