So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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