That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Randomize
