So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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