just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My dick has a subreddit
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
