dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
