Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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