ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
