just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
