i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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