it hurts more in the daytime
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
