oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My balls are so social today.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You need Xanax blowdarts
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why are your pants in the freezer?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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