Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I love you.
Bad choice
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
