the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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