oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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