i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
