omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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