He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
