it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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