Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
