I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
