I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
