yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
