He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
