just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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