You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Randomize
