...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
