i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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