I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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