Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
