Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
