I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize