I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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