sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
