the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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